Simon Gregson, a cast member of Coronation Street, talked candidly about his mental health following a series of panic episodes while on set.
Since he was fifteen, the 49-year-old actor has portrayed Steve McDonald on the ITV serial opera, rising to stardom with his endearing, if frequently wrong, persona.
However, away from the set as years went on, Simon started suffering panic attacks and anxiety as he struggled to handle his fame.
Speaking to YouTube channel Deep, Simon frankly spoke about the toll being famous had on his mental health, which worsened after he became a husband and father, and dealt with hard-hitting storylines.
He said that, while the show now prepares younger stars for what they’re about to face in the spotlight, back in 1989 that wasn’t a thing.
Simon explained: “We were kind of dropped in the middle of the ocean at fifteen and left to swim to shore. It had a massive impact on my mental health, looking back.
“It makes me very upset, for the only reason that I’ve got kids the same age now, and the thought of them going through what I went through is horrible. It’s not nice.”
Simon attempted therapy for the first time with the help of his father, who as a member of the police force, has an allowance for family members to get help for their mental health.
However, he adds that they “didn’t know what to do with him” and he quickly gave up.
He later explained he started self-medicating by ‘getting really really drunk’ which he says was ‘great’ and ‘not a problem’ – although acknowledged others around him may not have felt the same.
Simon added he only started curbing his drinking when he met his wife and she laid down the law, admitting he would rather have been with her than drinking.
But his anxiety remained, and in 2015 he was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, with the doctor saying it may have started around the time he started Corrie.
Simon said of his breaking point: “I remember ringing my boss, and he said, ‘You okay?’. I went, ‘No’. I said, ‘I’m in my car, ready to go work, I can’t get off the drive. I physically can’t drive the car off the drive. I can’t do it’.”
By September 2015, around the time his wife was expecting their third child, he was signed off work for six months under the advice of the show’s doctor.
“Initially they said, well, ideally we could do with you back at this point, and it was like being given a goal post to get mentally better for, and that didn’t work for me,” he said.
“Luckily for me, the doctor was like, No, this cannot be that. It has to be six months at least.”
Simon credits Coronation Street bosses for being “brilliant” and “supportive”, checking up on him both during and after his absence from the series.
He also acknowledges he was fortunate enough to attend a facility in Switzerland for help, something that not everyone can afford to do.
“It really gave me time to have a rest,” he said. “Been a long time, constant work, and we used to do 12-14 hour days back in the day, you know, and they’re 11 now for health and safety reasons.”
While Simon now feels more in control with his mental health, he admits that sometimes he still struggles with anxiety – though is at least better equipped to deal with it.
“I thought I’d found a way through it. It has creeped back recently,” he said. “I’ve been having the odd anxious moments, but I can now ride them as I call it, and I can let them wash through me, which is something that I learned, with the help of others.
“But, oh god, I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemies.”